there is nothing worse than a crummy attitude on a beautiful day. and today, today was a real beautiful day. the morning started out warm and lovely and it just went on to get better and sunnier, and meanwhile my mood just got fouler. the whole day was just a lousy endeavor. huck has a cold so neither of us are sleeping, my shoes were giving me terrible blisters, huck has decided lately that he should be pushed on a swing all day long and will throw a horrible fit if he suspects his stroller is not constantly headed in the direction of a playground, my floors are filthy, and i'm pretty convinced i'm not doing anything right and that i'm wasting all these wonderful blessings i've been given.
at 6:30 huck wanted a nap and i was too tired to fight him, so now i'll likely be up with him until about two. oh larry. i need a different approach, gently easing us back to the right time zone doesn't appear to be working. on a better day i'd have kept him up and sang him songs and read him books until 8:30, when i would have bathed him and then put him to bed with a pat on the bum. instead i'm letting him nap so i can sit here eating my chocolate covered cheerio feelings.
i texted brandon at about 5:45 to warn him. i mean, the poor dear deserves all the advanced notice he can get. my husband is cute. i don't say enough in here how much i love that man. he came home, rubbed my shoulders, and reminded me that i'm not being graded, that bad days are okay, and that i'm a good mom.
instead of being hard on myself, for the rest of the night i decided to surround myself with good things. like these gorgeous photos rebecca took of us last week. that girl is talented. when i look at these pictures, i see a good mom. and i reminded myself of the time i was at brunch with huck and the vera magazine girls for an interview, when at the end of our meal a nice old man came up and said, "you are a mother of style and talent. you are to be congratulated." it was so out of the blue and so lovely and i hardly felt i deserved it, but it made me tear up as i thanked him. (and then of course i had to write it down!)
and then, i redesigned the blog. weirdly, that helped a lot.
thank you husband, thank you rebecca,
thank you random gentleman, and thank you chocolate covered cheerios.
(and thank you also, blowfish shoes, for the boots!)
here's to tomorrow!