So, It Turns Out

July 7, 2010

Six months in and you know what? I kind of love it.

So, it turns out what we all thought was dehydration and exhaustion was actually a kidney stone. !!! Isn't that perfectly dramatic?

So, not Lindsey Lohan. Not after all. (Good thing too, she is going to PRISON!)

I should have doubted my diagnosis the minute the kindly lady doctor with the boggley-eye glasses asked me, Are you sexually active? and I looked down at my pregnant belly and then back up at her face and sort of pondered the cosmos for a minute, searching for the best answer.

I was checked into the Maternity Ward of the local hospital for a few hours after I passed this kidney stone for monitoring of my most awesome charming fetus, and the nurse assigned to me, upon hearing my story, said,

You passed a kidney stone? All by yourself?

And I said,

Well, I had a Vicodin.

And then the nurse's eyes got even wider and she said, breathlessly,

You only had a Vicodin?

Like I was some sort of hero.

(Let's be honest, aren't I though?)

So, I am requesting my Awesome At Being Pregnant card back, and if you please, to upgrade me with an Awesome At Passing Kidney Stones Too card.

Please and Thanks.
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24 comments:

  1. You are the cutest little pregnant chick ever!

    The general office of awesomeness will be in touch shortly to reinstate your cards.
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  2. Passing a kidney stone - while pregnant no less -most definitely upgrades your status to "SUPERWOMAN"!
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  3. Unfortunately, I lost my Awesome at Being Pregnant card yesterday at my Dr's appointment when I found out that over this last month I had DOUBLED my total weight gain. Ugh. Enjoy your continuing awesomeness though. I'll just live the next 5 weeks vicariously through you.
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  4. Upgrade most def. in order!!! Hugs!! Thanks for sharing your pain with us!!!
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  5. Here's to the Holbs-I-told-you-so, and redeeming your delightful self from the drama of attention-getting, only I ALSO passed out last week, but it was a crazy little story NOT involving a cute as a button burrito belly, but it did involve waking up surrounded by strangers, and some guy holding my feet, and trying to figure out WHERE in the world I was...
    http://recursively.blogspot.com/2010/07/temporary-reconciliation.html
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  6. Since you've already passed a kidney stone (go you! all by yourself!), and you're about to pass a child (bwa ha!), you'll have to let your readers know which, in fact, is worse: kidney stones or actual labor. Because ever since I watched "The Miracle of Life" when I was a sophomore in high school (all those years ago!), I'm all sorts of terrified of labor. (No, that's not why I'm still single. Despite being terrified of labor, I'm very much baby hungry. But don't worry, THAT doesn't come up on dates!)

    Kudos. To you.
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  7. I would call it practice! Nice to see your card was reinstated.
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  8. When I was in the fifth grade I had a HORRIBLE kidney infection...and I will say that labor pains and kidney infections hurt equally as bad (which begs the question why can't I get an epidural while I have a kidney infection?). Only thing with childbirth is that the pains are grouped together with very little breathing room between so it can get intense, then there's the tearing that can happen which leaves your cute little flower feeling like a can of smashed bumholes (name that movie).
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  9. First off, you look too cute! I love how everything major seems to happen to you at Anthropologie. So awesome. I mean, where better for major events to occur? Anyway, I would be glad to upgrade you to all of those cards too.
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  11. Well look at you pulling off jeans and a tshirt while pregnant. How do you do it? I hope I can look half as cute when I'm pregnant someday.

    And YES YOU MAY have your Awesome At Being Pregnant Card back. I had one kidney stone at age 21 and I was NOT pregnant and I seriously thought I was going to die... before I knew it was a kidney stone anyway. Vicodin, though, totally knocks me out so I think it SHOULD help at least a little. But you ARE awesome nonetheless.

    PS... I played with sparklers on the 4th. I thought it was completely cool of me until I read your post. Now I know better. ;)
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  12. you rock!

    and seriously...how are you keeping those pants up? i need some pointers for my own growing bump!
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  13. Yikes! A kidney stone. Girl, you deserve all kind of awesome cards! I looked at a kidney stone under a microscope once. They may be just the size of a grain of rice, but they are all jaggedy and evilly sharp.

    Glad you're doing okay. I love the picture of your very cute six month belly.
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  14. I love the leaded mirror (leaded and fused glass my hobby). Your stories are right up there with Andy Rooney's (just bought his book today and am half way through it already). Thanks for sharing the picture - we are all looking forward to the Vanity Fair version but we will wait for the last minute for maximum girth & mirth.
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  15. How fun! (If, you know, you are into painful as fun and all.) Glad you got that taken care of, and I suddenly have the urge to drink some water...
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  16. SuperMum here we come.

    I love your preggie tum. Its so adorable and neat.
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  17. how come you never reply to anything? so wooode
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  18. Wow...that sounds scary! I'm glad you and the tater are ok! :)
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  19. We are in the same club, Nat the Rat. Too bad it's an awfulish painful club- the passing a kidney stone while baking a baby club. Mine passed in the Macaroni Grill, and I can no longer stand eating there.

    Glad you have been determined as non Lindsay-Lohan-esque, and more on the tough chick side of things
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  20. You do need an "Awesome at being Prego Award".

    Not only for the stones, but for ALL the cuteness too!

    love ya!
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  21. You are lucky you could pass it. My sister had one so big they had to perform surgery to remove it! It was the size of a golf ball. Disgusting details shall be spared...however yes, she was in the worst pain of her entire life when she had it. And she had it for 3 weeks. Tough little cookie she is! You look ravishing might I add! Do you remember Christina Kusch? (Spelling may be off on that one a bit). She is due this week with a little girl. I am just over the moon for you, and wish you lots of happiness and luck as you make your move to the District. I hope you like it more than I did :)
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  22. Hooray for the reinstatement of your Awesome At Being Pregnant card! And also for the Amazing Kidney-Stone Passer card. I've never had a kindey stone before, so I can only imagine, but I must admit, I laughed when I read that it was the size of a grain of rice. (I'm sorry. It must have been horrid.)

    Oh yes, and boo to the UTI diagnosis.

    By the way, your tummy looks mighty fine!
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  23. I hear it is mightly painful to pass a kidney stone. Perhaps you will be Awesome At Labor as well.
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  24. Nice pic. Looks a bit like a food baby.
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